oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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