Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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