Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
