I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
