I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
