I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
