the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
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I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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