you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
