What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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