I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my sisters under your porch take her home
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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