this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Panties = found
Randomize
