Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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