it was like his penis was on wheels.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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