yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
