Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
