I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize