AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
