Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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