I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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