PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
