What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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