Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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