Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Less talking, more tequila
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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