JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
