I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
