And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
