my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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