In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
