I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
