its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
