Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize