Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
