you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
