Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
