Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
