my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize