On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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