Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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