Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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