its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
