Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

(203): View more from Connecticut

but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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(315): View more from New York

So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?

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(518): View more from New York

The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...

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