Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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