We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
