OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
