What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
