Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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