i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize