the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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