I bet he comes in French.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this will be a night to untag.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
