I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
