I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
