yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My feet surprised me
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