Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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