They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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