tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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