There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize