my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
As shirtless as possible
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
