listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
