Don't make out with my wife yet
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
