I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Randomize
