Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
