Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
