Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize