I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
