Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
