How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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