i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
