You can't motorboat a personality
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
