Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.