you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER